OVER EASY, SCRAMBLED, POACHED...

I've been wondering why I've been so fucking nuts emotional and depressed recently and have experienced such erratic bouts of binge-like shopping.

(I bought a charm for my bag. It has gems and diamantes and knitted pom poms and a rabbit's arse on it and the colour matches my handbag perfectly. It was a waste of money and is completely useless and everytime I sling my bag over my shoulder, the rabbit's arse whacks me in the back, but it's soft and furry and it gives me great pleasure to stroke it feels nice.)

One of my assistants, The Package, said "You must be ovulating."

A double-yolker it would seem.