RECENT DEVELOPMENTS

After being continually hounded, I have decided to "put myself out there" and have been trying very hard to meet new and interesting people.

Of course, because this is my life, the vast majority of them have been freaks somewhat eccentric.

However, I am happy to report that I have met at least one relatively normal and interesting specimen, TJ.

However, I am embarassed to say that due to Nasty Excruciating Royally Disastrous test which is soon approaching, I've told TJ. that I won't be able to meet up with him for about a month.

I know! I know! I'm kicking myself too, but I'm such a geek that at the moment I have to put my NERD test first, and if he's the decent type, hopefully he'll understand. ( I know. I bitch and whine about not getting laid and then I say "Oh, sorry, but I have to study." What is wrong with me?? )

I must be an insane masochist to take this much work on.

*sigh*

PUS EQUALS PLEASURE

Incision and drainage.

Like busting a pimple but ever so much more satisfying.

A patient comes in to re-treat a root canal another dentist buggered up. She complains it's incredibly sore and now she also has swelling.

I look at the swelling. I prod it. It's squishy.

"R...get me a scalpel." We both visibly tremble with excitement.

The scalpel slices into the swelling like a hot knife through butter, until it hits bone. And the pus - it pours!!!

R and I exchange looks over the patient - looks that convey sheer joy.

Man, I love my job sometimes.

REVELATION

I have just gotten back from seeing 007: Casino Royale, and I have to say that I think Daniel Craig has got to be one of the hottest things I have ever seen. The eyes, the charm, the body. Mmmm....




I did initally scoff at the new dirty blonde Bond , but I have to take it all back and say that as a dispassionate, ruthless and efficient machine who kills for a living, he totally rocks my world.

No wonder I make such bad choices with men.

Dammit, I have in fact just realised that this is karma - I have indeed been hit with some form of The Curse Of The Smug Girl.

However, my thoughts go to the shiniest, pearliest of all great pearly pearls of sublime, hallowed, gob-smacking sources of absolute wisdom - Shakira.

"I'm really a cat you see
And it's not my last life at all."

CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES

Well, I'm steadily making my recovery. Found out that it's common knowledge that MC has been seeing Faceless Ugly Work Girl for quite some time now. I'm coming to terms with it, and I realise that I did tell him after all, that if he did meet someone who was special, he should embrace it and allow her in. I also told him that I wanted him to have the best of everything that life has to offer. I still wish he hadn't lied to me all that time, but I've heard that FUWG is actually a very nice girl, so I'm trying to wish them the best.

...

So! Yes, we had our work Christmas party last night. All of us frocked up and with an endless alcohol supply, we took advantage of our boss's generosity and got absolutely stinking wasted.

Moments of note:

• F flashing me her breasts in the carpark to show me her scar from her breast implant surgery.
• Being kicked out for gate crashing someone's work Christmas function.
• Receiving my eagerly anticipated gift from my boss - an expensive, but puke orange cheap looking hideous canvas bag - and having to pretend to be thrilled with it. I'm wondering who I dislike enough to give it to.
• Finding out that Hairy Necked Guy told everybody that he was "going to have me in the back of his Sigma by the end of the night".
• Untangling Crispy's skirt which has gotten caught in her shoes and pulled it off her body, leaving her standing in her knickers in the middle of the street outside a club.
• Trudging to my car in the morning with panda eyes, Rocky and Bullwinkle pyjama bottoms, a man's shirt and black diamante stilettos, to many strange and amused looks.

In other words, a great success.

So I just found out about 30 minutes ago that MC has a new girlfriend, who happens to be, for those of you who have been reading my blog from the beginning, Faceless Ugly Work Girl. Though of course, I know now who she is. She's the dental assistant at The Institution with spiky hair with red streaks in it and bad skin.

Of course, it's always been deny deny deny deny, no, I'm not interested in her, we're just friends, deny deny deny...

And now they're shlepping all over each other at some party as I type.

Fuck, I hate him.

And the thing is, I haven't met anybody. Nobody. And no, it's not because I don't "get out there". I go out, I socialise, I try to meet people, just for the sake of getting out and making new friends, not because I'm desperately looking for a new boyfriend. But it shits me that some ugly dumb-ass dental nurse who sucks spit for a living is quite possibly, almost certainly, fucking my ex.

I just am trying to come to terms with the fact that this guy, who said he loved me, was going to love me forever, that if it couldn't work with me, it wouldn't work with anybody, that no one was ever going to take my place, that I was his best friend, that he always wanted to have me in his life no matter what, is out there fucking an uglier, dumber, bad-skinned version of me.

Maybe I'm being a bitch but right now I'm not in my right mind.

Maybe I'm a bitch always.

This is the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

I feel like a fucking fool.

A devastated one.

THE CHARMS OF YOUNG, VIRILE MEN

I recently had to cart a drunken 21 year old boy (the boy in question being a technician who works with us) home and it went something along the lines of this:

Hairy-Necked Guy: "I love women."
Me: "Uh huh."
HNG: "Man, I love women."
Me: Uh huh."
HNG "I love to fuck women."
Me: "Okay."
HNG: "I love women. I love to fuck women. I love to fuck women in the arse."
Me: "Oh God."
HNG: "You have a vibrator?"
Me: "What?"
HNG: "Do you? Really??"
HNG: "Really??"
HNG "Do you use it?"
Me: "No. It's just a great conversation piece."
HNG: "Man I'm horny. I'm going to go swim naked."
Me: "How nice for you."
HNG: Reaches over and rubs my shoulder doing this creepy thing with his thumb. "So...do you want to come upstairs for...coffee?"
Me: "No. I really want to go home. Good night."
Me: "....Get out of my car."

He had better not be the tall man wth dark hair that my oh-so-knowledgeable psychic oh-so-creepily predicted.