So I just found out about 30 minutes ago that MC has a new girlfriend, who happens to be, for those of you who have been reading my blog from the beginning, Faceless Ugly Work Girl. Though of course, I know now who she is. She's the dental assistant at The Institution with spiky hair with red streaks in it and bad skin.

Of course, it's always been deny deny deny deny, no, I'm not interested in her, we're just friends, deny deny deny...

And now they're shlepping all over each other at some party as I type.

Fuck, I hate him.

And the thing is, I haven't met anybody. Nobody. And no, it's not because I don't "get out there". I go out, I socialise, I try to meet people, just for the sake of getting out and making new friends, not because I'm desperately looking for a new boyfriend. But it shits me that some ugly dumb-ass dental nurse who sucks spit for a living is quite possibly, almost certainly, fucking my ex.

I just am trying to come to terms with the fact that this guy, who said he loved me, was going to love me forever, that if it couldn't work with me, it wouldn't work with anybody, that no one was ever going to take my place, that I was his best friend, that he always wanted to have me in his life no matter what, is out there fucking an uglier, dumber, bad-skinned version of me.

Maybe I'm being a bitch but right now I'm not in my right mind.

Maybe I'm a bitch always.

This is the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

I feel like a fucking fool.

A devastated one.