Monday, October 27, 2008


If you're one of those people that used to read this blog, and if you're foolish, still read the blog and haven't cottoned on to the fact that I hardly ever write anymore, the time has come for me to put it to bed.

Just so you know, the business is starting to reach the light at the end of the extremely long, skint, destitute, torturous tunnel. Also, TJ and I are working together towards a common goal and quite frankly, I don't think that we could possibly be in a better place at this moment. In all aspects, we're keeping our head above water and we can see where we're headed, not too far away.

Looking back, I can honestly say I've run through the whole gamut of emotions - and isn't that what it's all about?

Take care!

Sunday, September 28, 2008


I love my job so much, it hurts sometimes.

Dentists are so cool.

Or was that crazy?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


It's interesting that when God closes a door, he seems to open a window. So now that my love life is decidedly non-existent, the business seems to be coming to life.

I may even make a miniscule amount of money this month.

I always said to myself that when the practice turned a profit, I was going to buy a bottle of Moet.

I've turned into such a tight ass, I really don't want to spend the money. I should use my Moet money to pay of my HUMONGOUS, GIGANTIC, ENORMOUS, ASTRONOMICAL debt.

Meanwhile, although recent events have revealed that the door to the relationship with TJ is not firmly closed, I do think it best to leave my options open and am going to get back out there again.

Stay tuned for more posts detailing strange and uncomfortable future dates!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008


It's been 10 months now, slogging my guts out in my practice, working, selling my soul.

It's building. It's slow, but it seems to be building. After spending tens of thousands of dollars, I think I'm nearing the point where I'm going to start to break even every month.

That is so damned exciting I could pee.

I could just pee.

In other news, after 16 months, the infamous TJ and I have called it quits. I am quietly devastated. I feel as though I had to cut my arm off. I cried at a supermarket checkout and the girl felt so sorry for me she offered me a rewards card.

The problem is, he changes his mind 20 times a day as to whether or not he wants us to get married and so, I shouldn't be with him. Without out my being there he'll finally make up his mind one way or the other.

In the meantime, the penguin's mending and getting ready to dive back in.

Wish me luck.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008


TJ's ex-flatmate bugs the crap out of me.

I believe her to cherish a deep, burning, itching, rupturing, crusting passion for him for the following reasons:
  • they used to have sex
  • she wanted more than sex and was told he wasn't interested
  • she says nasty things about me, but in a "nice" way
  • she is always reminding him of how important she is in his life and how she's influenced who he is as a person, his job, where he lives
  • she gets shitty that he and I shop at the same supermarket she and he used to shop together at

Also, I unwittingly went on a date with her ex-boyfriend while they were still together. I may have mentioned Man with jellyfish-like bags of flesh attached to his lips. I swear I didn't know they were together!

It's funny the way life turns out. Most of my friends are attached now and we don't seem to see each other as often as we did. Everyone's lives are moving in different directions and no one appears to want to make time for old friends. Sad.

I'd like to see my friends more. I'm starting to feel a bit disconnected.

It would also be nice not to have to hang around with TJ's lusty friends all the time.

Thursday, April 03, 2008


My local prosthodontist had a birthday party today to celebrate his surgery being open for a year. I was invited and thought it would be a great opportunity to booze n' schmooze with all the local specialists. Also, it's nice to be friendly with the people you refer to.

I was chatting to an ortho who actually used to be a lecturer of mine back in university.

Ortho: Congratulations on owning your own practice! That used to be owned by Dr Whatchamacallit and then it was owned by Dr Whosit and then it was owned by Mrs Whippy and now by you! Actually, she's just bought a practice earlier this week.

Me: Wha-?........(Picking my chin up off the floor.) you know where?

Ortho: No, I only just heard about it.

Now, I only bought the practice 5 months ago, and in the contract we signed, she is not allowed to own a practice for 2 years.

Question: Should I sue her and try and screw some money back out of her?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Or rather a projectile vomit.

I'm not sure if I've previously mentioned that I work part-time for an extremely rich, snobby, anal, uptight, self-absorbed female dentist, hereafter referred to as Verbosia.

I've been working for her 2 days a week. Her fees are astronomical and as her fees have increased, the clientele have steadily declined, to the point where I was only seeing 2-3 patients a day as none of the new patient were being retained. I think it was because when I gave them their treatment plans, they realised they were going to have to sell a kidney or a first born child to fund their 2 fillings.

Verbosia has issues with her neck (her neck? Her head more like.) due to working herself like a dog, and also needs time to spend getting facials, manicures and Botox injections. She's the sort of person who delights in telling people "Ugh, I hate supermarkets." Consequently, she only shops at designer grocery stores. Anyway, I digress.

She's been asking me repeatedly to work more days for her and I've been repeatedly saying no. No, no no no no. I don't see enough patients to fill one day, let alone another one, so no. No. No no.

Anway, the long of the short of it is that eventually I had to tell her I have my own practice. She sacked me on the spot and told me I was unethical and disgusting.

I can understand her being angry though.

Anyway, so I'm looking for another part-time job.


Monday, March 03, 2008


There are too many 16 year olds trying to look like this:

or this

The parade was very long. I must be getting old because I look at all the teenagers and wonder how on earth their parents let them go out at night wearing corsets and fishnet stockings.


Anyway, I'm back at work now, sitting in the quiet.

After a number of months here, I discovered what a bad reputation the previous dentist had, and how she destroyed any goodwill that may have been here. So, I'm getting myself into more debt by spending money on marketing to completely rehaul the image of the practice, as well as give it an internal makeover.

Apparently, Mrs Whippy renovated the practice only 2 years ago but the flooring she used was so cheap and nasty it looks terrible. You can also see where all the off-cuts of vinyl she used have been "sealed".

I'm redoing crowns and bridges she only placed a year ago at half price. The technician has kindly agreed to meet me halfway on his fee. All these patients have been complaining about sensitivity on their crowns and were simply told that it was just the way their teeth are. Thing is, when you look at the crowns, they don't fit - at all.

I also hate the fact that she gets her husband to ring here on the days I'm working my other job to try and suss out what I'm doing.

Saturday, March 01, 2008


Last night, TJ's ex-girlfriend, Clogs, arrived from overseas with her current boyfriend. She's been living in Europe for a number of years.

TJ and Clogs dated for 5 years. I was actually pretty nervous about meeting her as TJ had warned me that she would probqbly be horrible to me, as she had been a bit mean to TJ's other ex-girlfriend (I know how to pick 'em, don't I?) when she met her. According to TJ, Clogs is still madly in love with him and wants to marry him and is extremely possessive.

I met her and she was perfectly pleasant.

TJ is stroking his own ego.


By the way, thankyou to the ones and twos of you who have given me support in this business angst!!! I could post pages and pages about all the drama I've been through, but I wouldn't want to sound like a bigger whiner than I already do.


Thursday, February 28, 2008


I bought this little 2 surgery practice in Sydney's snobby Eastern Suburbs. It's in a great location and the practice has been there for 15 years.

I bought it from a dentist who had owned it for 2 years. I'll call her Mrs Whippy.

Mrs Whippy has a husband who's training to be a maxillofacial surgeon, and is currently studying medicine. She's in her early 30's and has 5 kids, though I have just heard she's pregnant with her 6th. They're very religious people.

Anyway, before the purchase, I took stock of all the instruments and counted everything and noted there was a giant broken dental chair in the garage that was obviously trash. Mrs Whippy asked me if I was interested in buying her stock. I looked through the stock cupboards and counted the boxes of materials and agreed to pay her asking price of $2500.

The day of the purchase rolled around, I handed her a giant cheque for more money that ever I have seen in my life and proceeded to explore *my new business*.

I decided to rearrange the stock cupboard.

On turning the boxes around, I realised everything had expired in 2005.

I also realised that all the surgical equipment, local anaesthetic, stationary, pens, toothpaste, folders, stamps, envelopes had been cleaned out.

I also realised that the broken dental chair which I had asked her to remove was still there.

I rang her.

Her response: "It's not my problem. Why don't you just deal with it?"

I have also realised in the past 3 and a half months since seeing the very few patients that remain loyal to the practice, that she ripped a great deal of them off and did shithouse, dodgy work.

She also told the remianing staff member that I would fix up the wages that Mrs Whippy owed her.

I'm trying to resurrect this place, but it's damn hard.

She left a whole bunch of framed ugly photos or flowers on the wall that belong to her aunt that she was trying to sell, and before the sale I agreed that when I no longer needed them to dress the walls I would give them back to her.

Should I give them back to her or sell them down at Bondi markets?

Sunday, February 24, 2008


I realise I have been absent. Apologies to the ones and twos of you out there that sporadically read my blog.

  • With TJ and actually -happy. I know, I know. I am also shocked.
  • Have bought my practice and struggling, struggling with it. It's a long story and I will tell it another time when I have more energy.
  • Have quit working at The Institution.
  • Am still living at home with parents. Am embarassed to be writing this. Am cringing as I type.
More to follow.

Good to be back.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Life really has been quite boring in recent times.

TJ moved to a new apartment and I helped him move and clean. We've been tediously domestic, cooking dinner and watching Australian Idol. To celebrate the move, he made me dinner (spaghetti bolognaise) and I made dessert (chocolate cake).

The practice purchase is going ahead and hopefully I should be working in my own practice by sometime in October. I'm not looking forward to going back to work 6 days a week, but since I have an incredibly short attention span, I am looking forward to working for myself.

I've sent a polite letter to Ugly Bug-Eyed Stick Insect With Superiority Complex's practice assuming there is a "computing error" that is causing her to try and use my goodwill to grow her business. If she doesn't stop it, I will drive back to Mullet Country so I can pull her hair.

TJ is taking me to Canberra on the last weekend of August to meet one of his brothers and his sister. The most exciting this about this trip is the prospect of going to Koko Black to have hot chocolate affogatos and chocolate walnuts.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


  • Entered the dental Fellowship
  • Quit my job
  • Making the moves to own my own business
  • Moved back home with parents
  • Started going to gym
  • In steady relationship
  • Started new job
  • Allowed myself to have a sabbatical
  • Made time to go on holidays

Verdict: Huzzah!

(I found out today from a friend of mine that I used to see as a patient at Ugly Bug-Eyed Stick Insect With Superiority Complex's practice (you know, Dr Evil's girlfriend), that more than a year after I've left the practice, she is signing my name on recall cards to get the patients to come back to her. She's got some hide on her considering she screamed at me, accusing me of trying to steal her patients and calling me immoral, unethical and unprofessional. Stupid bitch.)

Monday, August 06, 2007


TJ and I had a great time in Fiji. We stayed at a resort called The Warwick, which is on the Coral Coast near the town of Korolevu.

We got an all inclusive package which was all meals, wine, beer and local spirits. Bliss. Due to this package, this following situation was a frequent occurence:

Man in Hawaiian shirt with frangipani behind his ear walks up to my deckchair under an umbrella on the beach.

Man: Bula! Would you like a drink?

Me: Yes...Yes...I would like a vodka-pineapple juice.

TJ: Do you know how do make a spider?

Man: with Coke?

TJ: But could you put a shot of vodka in it?

20 minutes later, Man in Hawaiian shirt with frangipani behind his ear returns to take away empty glasses.

Man: Bula! Would you like another drink?

Me: Yes...Yes...I would like a vodka-Coke.

TJ: Can I have another vodka spider?

Repeat several times a day, almost every day.

I did go diving one day at Beqa Lagoon, which is ranked as one of top 10 dives sites in the world. It's meant to be famous for sharks, which is why I was so excited to go. However, as luck would have it, I did not see a single shark. The dive site though, is amazing. The water is so beautifully clear, the visibility is endless, and there's a wreck of a Japanese fishing vessel that has been colonised with soft coral that was actually able to be penetrated. (Fijians are very relaxed about this sort of thing.) I would definitely love to dive Fiji again some day.

All in all, we had an awesome time. Great food, endless drink, clean water for diving, swimming and snorkelling, got a great tan and had a lovely, memorable time. Fijians are incredibly friendly and we were so impressed with how the waiter at the Wicked Walu restaraunt not only remembered our names, but everything that we had ordered when we went back for a second visit.
Now I'm back in Sydney in the freezing cold and wishing I was going on holidays again.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007


TJ and I have been together ( for the third time ) for 3 months.

TJ: Happy anniversary for tomorrow baby.

Me: Thanks...( silence )...Our anniversary is the day after tomorrow.

TJ: Oh.

Poor thing.