PHONE CONVERSATION

TJ: I need to go to the supermarket....It's boring going on my own....It'd be fun to go with someone....But you're too far away...

Kissaki: Oh well...have fun shopping for your yoghurt and muesli...

TJ: Do you want me to get you anything?

Kissaki: (laughs) Oh no! We're not there yet!

TJ: What do you mean??

Kissaki: Honey, would you pick me up some tampons?

TJ: That's disgusting!

INTERPROXIMAL HYGIENE

I can't believe I'm so out of touch. All this time I've been advising my patients to floss without knowing the actual meaning.

floss:
1)To flaunt expensive merchandise such as Iced-out rollies, Jaguars on Triple Golds, Gem-encrusted Pimp goblets, Huge whops of dank hydro, etc.
2)To show off, especially things of high value.

flossing:
1)Verb: The act of chilling in one place for a long period of time, in attempts to attract others' attention. Most often involves ghetto males attracting hood rats with large amounts of shiny metals (i.e. diamonds, gold, platinum, chrome, etc.).
2)When the crotch of a woman's pants/underwear is so tight against her that the labia mounds are clearly visible. Aptly named because the article of clothing is acting as the "floss" for her nether garden. See camel toe.
3)When a dude pulls out a girl's tampon with his teeth right before going down on her.

Thanks to www.urbandictionary.com for enlightening me.

UNDER THE INFLUENCE

Well, one thing I have to say for my life - if nothing, at least it's interesting.

I attended an oral surgery course today. It has a year long waiting list and they only take 6 people per year. Lucky me, my number came up this year. Lucky me, one of the attendees was Mole, who some of you may have seen me mention in the odd supermarket shouty incident. I made a real effort to pretend that I never saw him and that I still can't see him. How mature am I???

Ah, the saga that is TJ and Kissaki. Still "together", so to speak. It's so crazy - why do we feel the need to keep trying? Push, pull. Up, down. Smooth sailing it ain't.

How to make Kissaki go crazy:
1) Take one emotionally volatile individual.
2) Shower liberally with contriteness and sincerity.
3) Douse with affection and good feelings.
4) After some time, mix with detachment and aloofness.
5) Repeat steps 3 and 4 over and over again.

OBLIGATORY POST

The life and times of the penguin:

• Saw the weedy-looking, but divine-sounding James Morrison in concert last night. Unfortunately was positioned behind an amazonian monster with the biggest hair I've ever seen in my life. Her hair could probably be seen from space.
• Things with TJ are going reasonably well, though as always, ups and downs. Have made the decision to ride the wave and have no expectations. Was bought flowers to my pleasant suprise.
• Am finishing up work in 5 weeks. Hurrah!
• Have been shortlisted for entry to Perio. Guzzah!
• Am trying to brush off SP who keeps telling me he misses me - despite the fact that he doesn't know me.

Good times.

ROUND 3...FIGHT!

TJ versus Kissaki.

Pick from one of the following:

• Three times lucky.
• Third time's a charm.
• Three strikes and you're out!

*****************

SP is incredibly persistent, effusive with his flattery, and methinks, a bit flakey. Talking about being in love and watching sunsets and other such saccharine sop.